7/20/2023 0 Comments Genital jousting date night dogs![]() OvercookedĬooking a delicious meal takes time, and time isn’t a thing most of us have in abundance. No really, you should play it, take turns if you have to. ![]() And if you’re not, you should, it’s a phenomenal game. Why Titanfall 2? Well, if you’re anything like me and my partner, you’re already planning on playing this the whole night anyway. What really prompted me to include Genital Jousting on this list however, is the game’s freshly released Date Night update, which adds a new “Two-Player Only Mode for lovers + six new date activities together including rose picking, dog walking, and bowling!” Some of that is included in the probably super NSFW trailer below. But it’s also one of the most hilarious, gross, absurd, and superbly entertaining indie co-op games I’ve experienced in a while. Local developer Free Lives’ Genital Jousting seems like just a silly game about dicks, butts, and testicles, and for the most part, that’s exactly what it is. Look, I don’t really know what your stance on “flaccid penises and wiggly anuses” is, but I’m going to assume you’re chill with it. Unless either of you are overly competitive, in which case I don’t take responsibility for any nuked relationships or marriages. Getting into the V-day spirit after a long day of responsibilities is infinitely easier after a few crushed skulls, shattered pelvises, and a generous helping of blood and guts. ![]() Which is why the first thing you and your partner should play tonight is Mortal Kombat. Work sucks, bosses suck (except mine of course… please don’t fire me), the ridiculously hot South African climate sucks, most people in general suck, and pretty much everything else sucks on Tuesdays. At least Monday has that “new week, fresh start” feeling going for it, and the rest of the work week feels a lot closer to the weekend. Today is Valentine’s Day, but it’s also a Tuesday, and Tuesdays are the raisins in an otherwise pretty acceptable muffin. Recently, I play games like that exclusively with my partner, partly because laughing at other people getting scared out of their minds is one of my favourite past times, but mostly because on the rare occasion I do crap myself a little, a comforting cuddle does wonders.Īnd honestly, is there a better aphrodisiac than pure terror mixed with adrenaline? If there is, I have yet to try it. I don’t often get legitimately scared while playing horror games, but there are a few exceptions like Outlast, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard, and the Dead Space series (except Dead Space 3). Horror games, literally any (good) horror games If that sounds like the kind of action you’d like to get in on with your significant other, hit the jump for a list of games you should seriously consider adding to your playlist.Įveryone’s unique in their own way, and thus have their own preferences, but the list below has been scientifically proven by me by a panel of experts to be super effective at driving lovey-dovey levels to the max. In case you haven’t caught on yet, that means we’ll be spending V-day eating pizza, having a few beers, and playing some of our favourite co-op/improvised co-op games all night. What’s more, my partner and I are more or less into the same games, which makes our plans really easy. Traditional and Party Modes: Dabble in the throbbingly fast-paced Traditional Mode or jostle your way through some stiff competition in Party Mode including challenges like Double Delight, Obstacle Intercourse, and Weiner Round Up.For only the third time in my life, I actually have a real, totally-not-made-of-plastic (even though there’s nothing wrong with that, shut up!) date for Valentine’s Day. ![]() Online and Local Multiplayer for Eight: Genital Jousting is more fun with friends and can satisfy up to eight players at once! Find a few willing partners, cuddle up on the couch, and share controllers or go online to joust with anonymous players from all over the world.And with your help, that's exactly what he'll do. He wants to show everyone his astounding rigidity. Play as John, a dick who wants to find a date for his high school reunion. Multiple game modes provide a stimulating orgy of objectives: penetrate and be penetrated as fast as possible or compete in absurd, silly and sexually suggestive games and challenges. Players control a detached penis complete with testicles and an anus. Genital Jousting is an online and local multiplayer party game about flaccid penises and wiggly anuses for up to eight players at once. ![]()
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